body love

379 Pounds and Not an Ounce of Concern

I very rarely weigh myself anymore, but this morning, decided to step on the scale simply to pass time while I waited for the shower water to warm up.

379 lb.

Wait a second…..What is that number?

379.8 lb.


Three-hundred and seventy- nine pounds. Not even kilograms. And while I didn’t have any expectations for the number I’d see,  I also didn’t anticipate 379 lb.  I stepped off and back on again. 380 lb. I was gaining weight by the minute!

I didn’t bother to re-weigh myself for a third time. I didn’t have an interest. I didn’t rush out to the nearest department store in a frantic search for a new scale.  I didn’t run to the gym to start sweating off the pounds. I didn’t skip breakfast or any other meal today for that matter. I simply assumed that my scale must be broken and that 379 lb was not an accurate measure of my weight. In other words, I didn’t let the number on the scale this morning affect my mood, my self-esteem, or my plans for the day. I didn’t care what the scale said. My rational brain told me that my true weight likely fell somewhere between 150 and 379 lbs, but the specifics weren’t important.

This train of thought came naturally to me today, but it hasn’t always. It’s certainly taken a lot of time and work to get to a place where my mindset is health-based, not weight- or appearance-based. Situations such as the one I experienced this morning provide reassurance that the work has been worth it. My life is no longer controlled by weight, restriction, or a quest for perfection. Society may not accept me at 379 lb, but what difference does it make if I’m comfortable and able to love myself regardless of my size.

In fact the thought that I may weigh 379 lb and live the kind of active and healthy lifestyle that I do is intriguing to me. Today I carried back bags of fresh produce from the farmers market and then joined friends for a 10-mile run. I’m not sure what else to feel but impressed if I’m able to do that at 379 lb!

Despite working in an industry that equates an “ideal body weight” with good health, I do I approach weight from a neutral stand point. It’s natural and normal for our body weights to fluctuate throughout life, and I believe that good health can be achieved at any size. So if you read this article and happen to relate to the struggling with the weight you see on the scale, I urge you to start taking steps to make this less of a concern. Easier said than  done, but by focusing on healthy behaviors, the real predictors of overall health, you can start to pull back on some of the power you’ve given the scale and embrace the full-filling life you are meant to life.

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